I've been putting on a happy smile. Not because I'm happy. But I have this mindset that complaining really doesn't do anything. (who is listening anyway?) So I smile and nod most things away. Well, lately the body isn't feeling me and it's letting me know in a big way.
My insomnia is back. In addition, I've picked up tension in the shoulders which has brought along tension headaches that I can't shake. I'm fidgety and semi moody. Everything seems to annoy. My side where the biopsy was done and my joints ache.
So I sat down and vented to my mom everything that is bothering me. What's going right, what's going horribly wrong. I didn't realize I had so much pent up stress stemming from frustration; money, the limitations of my body, certain endeavors not panning out, selfish people, unfinished house repairs, car issues, and on and on.
My mom, who is the cheerleader of all things cooky that I get into, said "Just go lay down and focus on your camper, the kids and getting better." So, I'm sitting here semi-reclined and trying to put a positive spin on the negative.
I am also trying to learn it's okay not to be OK. It's not okay to stay there. Sometimes you do need to have things go horribly wrong so you can be steered in the RIGHT direction.